Not a lot going on!

I haven't blogged lately because there isn't a whole lot going on! 

I was thinking I don't have much to post about - but then I remembered my family reunions.  At our Woodbury Reunion I won the coveted "Woody 2014" smoker that my two brothers made and donated.  I've used it a couple of times and really enjoy it!  But it can turn a bit pricy if I keep buying meat.  So it'll be a once a week or every other week event.  Right now I have to get a cover for it so won't get rusted.

School started last week.  Did I get a picture of Sterling?  Heck no!  He didn't want me to do that.  He doesn't like his picture to be taken so I can't get the first day of school picture.  Yes, I am the mom and I can force him to let me take the picture - but then it would be a terrible picture and a waste of time and effort.  (I'm tired of people telling me I'm the mom and that he should obey me.  Keep your lips zipped.  Until you have a child exactly like mine, you have no room to talk!).

I am extremely anxious with school this year.  At Ster's school, there is a rule that you have to pass "Take Aways" at 80% or better or you will fail the class.  I understand that Take Aways are quizzes or tests.  Either way, it causes major anxiety for both Ster and I.  Ster because he is assuming he will fail all his classes.  Me because without A LOT of help, he won't be passing them.  I know that isn't very optimistic or motherly of me.  But I am realistic and know what abilities my son has.  And the ability to take tests is not one of them.  He struggles academically.  Big time.  Is he dumb?  No.  But his learning style is not like most kids and so he struggles.  The knowledge that he has to pass at 80% is killing him.  I've tried to encourage him.  I've told him we will study together.  I've told him that I want to learn too, so he needs to teach me.  I've tried to reassure him.  But he ain't listening!  He is still so worried and anxious. 

I hate school.

I hate work, too.  I have a really good job and I can't complain.  But I am just not happy here.  I get paid half what my boss gets paid, but I can do - and have done - his job many times and kept our department running.  I have learned the art of acting dumb so that things get done - like I'm not sure if there is something that needs to be done and asking for help so that it brings something to light that needs to be done.  I'm the one EVERYONE goes to, not him.  Yes, I'm the deputy but sometimes I want to tell them to go to the boss to get an answer!  There is no appreciation at my place of employment.  My boss is some-what appreciative, but those of us who have been here for 20 plus years have come to realize that the longer you are here, the less valuable you are.  It doesn't matter that I have 20 years of knowledge of the workings of the city.  There are a few employees with over 30 years who have to work for insurance or they would retire.  They are made to feel worthless.  It is really sad.

Okay.  Enough of a pity party.  I am happy.  I am happy.  I am happy.

Fake it til you make it, right?

Family Picture

We finally have a family picture!

Sterling wasn't a happy camper.  Can you tell?  And lovely Tim Sr - making a face.  As usual.  No wonder Ster makes faces in pictures!  He gets it from daddy.

For those of you who know Jayden, he is the middle boy up front.  Can you believe how big he is?  And look at Levi - 3 years younger and almost as big!

Curiosity

I was reading a headline from msn.com about a family who stoned a woman to death because she married for love.  Man...how sad.

I've always wondered about stoning people to death.  I always pictured a person cowering while people through stones.

Stupid me googled it.  I wish I hadn't.  The images were very sad to me.  I can handle some blood and these weren't gory so I could handle that.  What I couldn't handle was seeing how they did it!  Oh. my. heck.

Did you know that they buried people up to their waists or necks?  Then they throw the stones.  I had no clue.  Now, there were some that were not buried, but others were.  Some were small rocks - but some rocks were HUGE.  Like, HUGE!

How sad. 

Book of Mormon

Awhile after General Conference, I had the desire to once again read the Book of Mormon.  I am the first to admit that I am far from perfect.  We don't hold regular Family Home Evenings.  We don't regularly read the scriptures.  Goodness, we are lucky if we read once in a blue moon!  I have read the Book of Mormon several times.  But it has been a few years since I actually read from the first page to the last page.  I've started several times, gotten to a certain point and then stopped.  Then I would start over.

I didn't want to do that again.  I made a decision that I would read every night and that I would finish the Book of Mormon.  And then start again.  I decided that I would read and then write down my testimony and share that with others.  I am close to finishing. 

This time around, I have had a thirst and hunger for reading the Book of Mormon.  There were only a few times when I had to force my way through the chapters.  And which ones were they?  The Isaiah chapters.  I have a hard time understanding those.  But I pushed my way through and conquered the Isaiah chapters!  I couldn't put the Book of Mormon down.  I would literally read until my eyes didn't want to stay open any longer.  One more chapter!  One more!  And I can't wait to finish because I can't wait to start all over!  I can't wait to really delve into the chapters and study them.

There have been several things that have stuck out as I've read.  Things that happen over and over and over.  And it scares me.  How many times did Satan lead away the Nephites?  How many times were they strong and righteous and happy - and then lead away by Satan?  How many times did the members of Christ's Church leave and become wicked?  How many times did those who were righteous fall away from the church and become more wicked than the Lamanites?  Isn't that happening today?  People are being lead away and it is so sad to me.  Those who fall away from the LDS Church are more vocal against the church and have a hatred of the true gospel.  How many have left the church because of the homosexual issue?  How many have left or thinking of leaving because of the Ordain Women movement?  How many are questioning the basic gospel principles?  How many are getting offended over something and leaving?

In my own family, I have those who are not homosexual but think that it should be okay for them to get married.  Some think it is perfectly fine and nothing wrong with it.  I believe homosexuality goes against God's commandments.  It scares me.  What is next?  Viewing child pornography?  Those who have those tendencies claim they were born with it and it should be just fine?  Will we have to allow them the right to view that or we are discriminating against them?  Satan has a way of taking something and twisting it and making it seem right.  And then people follow along and soon it is "fine" and "natural" and "okay".  That is what is happening today.  We are being bombarded with things that are wrong but the world thinks they are right.  And if you don't agree, then you are wrong and ridiculed.

Our home is more peaceful when we are doing the things we are taught to do - pray, study the scriptures, attend church, attend the Temple.  Are we perfect?  No.  But we are trying and that is what we need to be doing.  We need to stay strong and not allow Satan to pull us away from what is true.  I have a strong desire to help my family stay strong and firm in the gospel principles.  And I am making an effort to change our habits so that we are doing what we need to be doing to keep the spirit with us.

I have been blessed with a wonderful family and the wonderful opportunity to have been raised in the gospel and to have a knowledge of the plan of salvation.  I believe that Jesus Christ did come to this earth to offer up himself as a sacrifice so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven.  I love this gospel.  I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I love the fact that we can repent and be forgiven of our sins.  I love the Book of Mormon and all that I am learning from it.

(Wow - if you have stuck it out and read to the end:  THANKS!)

Misophonia

Do you know what Misophonia is?

I didn't until a couple of weeks ago.  For years, I have thought that I was just cranky about certain things.  You know - people chewing their food (see a few previous posts), clicking their pens, chewing/popping their gum, the boom-boom-boom of music.  I get so irate when I hear those sounds!  Sometimes I have gotten pretty pissed off pretty darned fast (like the morning I walked in and heard the Opera going.)

There has always been something that is just buggy about certain sounds.  Like the gum popping - sometimes it hurts my ears!  Seriously - especially when it is popped really loud.  I would hate to sit in meetings or classes and have people behind me whispering.  It would grate on my nerves and start to make me antsy and irritable.

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin mentioned in a facebook post her "misophonia" and counting the times a lady behind her popped her gum as she was chewing.  I thought to myself that would drive me bonkers, too!  I didn't know what misophonia was, so I googled it.

Wikipedia:  Misophonia, literally "hatred of sound", is a neurological disorder in which negative experiences (anger, flight, hatred, disgust) are triggered by specific sounds.  It can be described as an immediate and extremely negative emotional response accompanied by an automatic physiological flight response to identifiable auditory, visual, and olfactory stimuli. The disorder disrupts daily living and can have a significant impact on social interactions

Misophonia Facts and Information:

When you suffer from misophonia, you have a strong reaction to specific sounds. People with misophonia can react with irritation, rage and even panic to these sounds.

       

Misophonia is also known as selective sound sensitivity syndrome (SSSS or 4S). If everyday noises like a dripping tap or someone else chewing or clicking a pen makes you irritated or panic, you might suffer from misophonia.
Miso- (hatred) phonia (sound) means strong reactions to selective sounds. It is not to be confused with hyperacusis where sound is perceived as abnormally loud or physically painful.
Though people may have suffered from misophonia for many years, it has only been recognised as a medical condition since the 1990's. As such, misophonia is a syndrome which is still something of a mystery for the general population all over the world.

Symptoms

The symptoms of misophonia often appear in late childhood but onset can be seen at any age. Usually it starts with a single trigger-sound then more sounds are added to the list of triggers.
When exposed to a trigger-sound people with misophonia react with irritation, rage, panic or even physical violence (or the idea of exercising violence).

This is soooo me!  It explains so much.  And it is good to know that I'm not the only one out there!  I seriously thought I was a freak for hating sounds so much.  There are certain places in Sacrament Meeting I WON'T sit because of someone who chews gum non-stop (mouth open - I hear squoosh-squoosh-squoosh and the constant, loud pop).  I hate to be in big crowds because there is always someone who pops their gum - and it is usually loud.

Not that it helps any with getting so irritated with those sounds, but it helps to know there is a reason behind it!

Now if I could lose my hearing, I'd be better off ;)

Maximus Alexander Dunlap

It's a boy!  Tim's daughter is having another boy.

I was so excited to see they are naming him Maximus - my Grandpa's name is Max.  Since I won't be having another child to name Max, this is just as good!

Can't wait to meet Maximus.

Gratitude

I want to express my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for all I have been blessed with. 

I have a wonderful husband.  A husband who will do anything for me - or for anyone else.  He cooks, cleans, takes care of the vehicles, takes care of the yard, takes care of the dog poo, helps the neighbors.  He is amazing.  He puts up with me and my crankiness.  He puts up with Sterling and his pre-teen attitude.  He does what he can to help those around us - and he feels terrible when he isn't able to help.  When neighbors have moved in and he couldn't help (because he just had shoulder surgery) he felt bad and really wanted to help.  When those same neighbors put in their sprinkler system, he felt horrible because he just had his knee scoped and couldn't help.  (We called him "Grandpa" using his cane.)

I have a child who melts my heart more than anything.  He may have that pre-teen attitude and may make me want to pull my hair out, but he is a sweet son.  He winks at me as he is passing the sacrament.  He still wants to hold my hand (at times).  He loves to hug me.  He is a kind child who, although he is selfish at times, willing to share what he has with those who don't have as much.  I sure love him.

I have been blessed with my "baby" - Duke, our dog.  He is so good and obedient and loving.  He gets so excited when we come home and smiles at us (he is baring his teeth - but his butt is going a mile a minute).  He is a calming presence in our home.

I do have a couple of wonderful step-children.  Things are much better in that area and there have been some wonderful phone calls.  I am so excited to see them in June.  All of them.  (Although I think it may be difficult for me not to stare at all of TJ's tattoos if he takes his shirt off).

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and that has been such a blessing to me.  It seems like members are being bombarded with comments like "being brainwashed" and questions about how we can feel that way and accusations about our religion.  But I know I belong to the true Church.  I feel it as I am reading the scriptures.  I feel it as I see the wonderful blessings I have been given.  I feel it as I pray for comfort in our trials.  I feel it as I witness huge blessings in my friends and neighbors.  I am so far from perfect.  But I know that because of Him I get to keep on trying.  That I can work on my deficiencies and my mistakes and improve myself.

I have been so blessed.